New York Cops Are Funny

At least, they are If this is for real:

Tips For Clueless People Who Get Mugged

So you've just moved into a new "gentrifying" neighboorhood that's full of urban culture, cheap(er) rents, and wonderful friendly people. An odd lack of organic food stores and greenmarkets, but you can't have everything. So one day you're doing something F*CKING RETARDED like walking back from the store alone at 1 am or walking home from the subway while texting your sorority sisters back in the f*cking midwest or something while SIMULTANEOUSLY listening to an ipod with the bright white headphones and you get f*cking mugged. Congrats, YOU'RE A F*CKING DUMBAS*. No, it's not 1990, when men where men, crackheads would f*cking cut you and the robbery rate was about a billion times higher than it is now, but it's still new york and you were still f*cking dumb enough to think that paying $1200 for a studio in a sh*tty neighboorhood is somehow hipper than moving to f*cking Queens.

Anyway, here's some helpful tips for the next time someone jacks your sh*t...

Rest of the hysterical post here. Because even if it's not for real, it's still freakin' funny.

-k
(sent to me by a friend who's a cop in Southern California)